Change of Perspective

Isn't funny how when you're a little kid, the idea of getting up for school before the sun rises was torture?  I remember my mom dragging me out of bed at 6am, and still being asleep as I fumbled around looking for something somewhat clean to wear.

This morning, I got up at 6:20am and rode my bike to Pilates class and was out of class by 7:50am and watching little kids pile off the school bus into the elementary school down the street.  I felt great!

I'm not gonna lie, the idea of getting up in the morning still makes me hesitate the night before, because I do tend to enjoy my evenings and try to make them last as long as possible.  But while I was stretching and doing my 100's at Circuit Pilates, I didn't regret getting up with the sun at all.

If you had asked my 6yr old self, 'What do you imagine you're life being like 20some odd years from now?'  I'd most likely have answered, 'Sleeping late, eating cookie dough for breakfast and owning a bunny farm.'  Well, 6 yr old self.  You can thank me later!  Perhaps there's still a chance for that bunny farm...

The Secret to Success

In a recent discussion of my career as an actress my man said to me, 'Well, you've got nowhere to go but up, right?'  Now, many would've been insulted by this comment.  And I fully know it was not meant to be an insult, nor did I take it as such.  Instead I heard it as, 'Well, the sky's the limit, right?'

And he's totally right!  As an actor, most of us don't realize how true it is that when we're just starting out or struggling to get that first big break, there really is nowhere to go but up.  We can't possibly lose the jobs we've already done, get cut out of films we've already seen ourselves in, lose the connections we've already got.  Sure, we can piss people off, but that doesn't make us go lower than we already are, if anything it makes us memorable.

Haha, ok that sounds cynical or something, but it's not meant to be.  It's actually meant to be encouraging.  As an artist, in this ever changing weird career field where there is no right and wrong, no black and white, we must hold on to the thought that every step we take is a step forward, not back or 'down', but forward, something new, something different, something exciting and something filled with potential.

That's really all I have to say about that.  Short and sweet.  

Hollywood Half Marathon Here I come!

So, back in January...a friend of mine approached me about training for the Hollywood half marathon.  I laughed in his face.  The most I ever run is 1mi, maybe 2 if I'm on a treadmill.  13.5mi??  That would take me like 10hrs!

However, I thought...and thought...and thought about it, and decided.  Ok, I'm gonna be tough on myself and sign up for it and pay money to torture myself and therefore, I have to train!

Three months later, here I sit, writing this blog post with legs that feel like jelly and the lung capacity of a whale (do they have good lung capacity?  I would think so, cuz they're huge!).  Anyway, point is, the race is two weeks and three days away, April 7th, 2012 @6am.  And to be honest, I feel pretty prepared.  I've run over 51mi in just the last month alone.  What?  I think that's more than I've run in the past 3 years combined.

I've learned through this process that the human body is amazing!  And we can honestly do pretty much whatever we put our minds to.  It's been intense, but I've gained a whole new respect for runners.  I don't view running as 'torture' so much anymore and before, when I thought of running 6mi I'd rather have eaten a live worm.  But now I see 6mi and think, oh thank God! That's an easy run!

On top of training for a half marathon I've been putting together a night of Screenings and Sketches with some friends and if you ask me which has been harder?  I'd say the screening night has felt like running a full marathon...I really don't prefer to produce events/films.  I'll do it now, while I'm still working my way up the ladder, but in the future?  I hope to retire my producer hat while I'm still young.  But another half marathon?  I think I could probably handle that.  We shall see how I feel once i actually run it though...i might have a different story.

Let me know if you're running the half as well!  I'll look out for you at the starting line!

And if you're not up to anything important on March 27th starting at 8pm, you should come by and check out the most amazing and free 'Late Night LA' show I've been busting my butt to put together!  Event Page with more info: https://www.facebook.com/events/396298793714239/?__adt=9

Fakin' it??

I've come to the conclusion that this career is toughest for those of us in the 'middle'. Middle height (5'2"), middle weight (neither over weight or anorexic but rather 'healthy'), and middle looks (not stunningly exotic like Angelina and not so hideous we brake mirrors, just normal symmetrical every day girl next door looks).

Why? You ask? Because Hollywood has no idea where to put us! If I was 5'9", stick thin and exotic looking I'd be characterized as 'hot chick', 'upscale model good looks', 'headturner' or if I was 4'11" with a big nose and crooked grin, I'd be making bank doing commercials. What about the rest of us? Where do we go? ...'shrug'.

Exactly. I went to a job orientation yesterday for promo modeling. This is why I bring this up. I feel our view of beauty is so skewed it's created this void for ppl like me, who are average height, curvaceous and have a natural hair color (gasp).

I sat in a room full of 22yr old fake blondes with ribs poking out of their shirts. Me? I'm thin, I work out. But I'm a size 8. Why? Because I have hips. No matter how much weight I lose, how much I diet or work out, I will always be a size 8.

'ladies, Jillian fit in 30 is a god send! We need you toned and tan.'. The first part of this I felt was indirectly aimed at me, the second was for a fact aimed at me. 'get a tan'. Were the words of advice I was given as I was sent out the door. Ugh.

Now my whole life I've had people greet me with, 'you're so tan!' and I've scowled and said, 'ugh, really??'. Because I slather on the sunscreen and bring an umbrella to the beach so that one day when I'm 50 I can still look like I'm 35. So how is it that despite all that protection I still look tan to everyone and yet, I'm not tan enough. I'm also not blonde enough...what? I was the only real blonde in the heard.

So my quandary is: do I tan and dye and plaster on the eyelashes and makeup so that Hollywood knows where to put me? Or do I stay au naturel and let myself flop about until that golden role appears: "seeking real blondes, no fakes, with hips, defined biceps, real boobs, preferably less than a C cup and book smarts.".

I think I'll flop.

Boy do I sound cynical!  Dallas Travers would say that I need to turn my negative statement of 'it's toughest in hollywood for those of us with middle looks' into a positive powerful statement, so here goes nothing: "there's an over abundance of jobs for average height blondes with athletic bodies so much that my phone rings with endless opportunities."